Why Do People Not Want To See You Doing Better Than Them?
Share
What You'll Learn:
Click a link below to learn a specific topic.
- A Story Of Success And Envy
- What Is Envy?
- Envy Is About Them And Not You
- How To Handle Envious People With Confidence
- Conclusion
A Story Of Success And Envy
Jane had always been a hard worker. After years of dedication and commitment, she finally earned a promotion at her job. Many colleagues congratulated her, but there was a noticeable change in the behaviour of others.
A few began distancing themselves, and some even made passive aggressive comments about her success. At first, Jane was puzzled.
She had done nothing wrong. But over time, she realised that their envy had nothing to do with her and everything to do with their own insecurities.
What Is Envy?
Envy is a complex emotion, often rooted in feelings of inadequacy or insecurity. When someone feels envious of your success, it’s typically because they see something in you that they wish they had.
This could be your accomplishments, your confidence, or even the way others admire you. It's important to recognise that envy is more about the other person than about you.
For example, a colleague who sees you get promoted may start to feel envious because they feel stuck in their own career. Instead of focusing on their own growth, they might channel their frustrations toward you.
As Long As You Act With Good Character - Envy Is About Them And Not You
One of the most important realisations when facing envy is that, as long as you have acted with integrity, the envy you experience is a reflection of the other person's insecurities, not your worth.
Often, people who are envious of you are struggling with their own sense of failure or inadequacy. They see your success as a reminder of what they lack or haven’t yet achieved, which triggers feelings of jealousy or resentment.
When you remain true to yourself—working hard, maintaining strong ethics, and treating others with respect—the envy of others becomes their issue, not yours.
It’s crucial to remind yourself that you don’t need to dull your shine to make others comfortable. Their discomfort with your success is a reflection of their internal struggle, not a judgment of your worth or actions.
How To Handle Envious People With Confidence
Envy is inevitable for anyone who reaches a certain level of success, but how you respond to it can make all the difference. Here’s how to handle envy from others while staying true to yourself and maintaining your upward momentum.
Acknowledge The Reality Of Envy
First, accept that envy is a natural human reaction.
People may feel threatened by your success for reasons beyond your control. By acknowledging that envy exists, you can better prepare yourself emotionally and mentally to deal with it.
This doesn’t mean you should feel guilty for your accomplishments. Instead, recognise that their negative reaction is more about their internal struggles than anything you’ve done.
Set Healthy Boundaries
Not everyone will handle their envy gracefully. Some may resort to toxic behaviours like gossiping, sabotaging your work, or belittling your achievements.
While it’s important to remain empathetic, it’s equally important to set boundaries that protect your mental and emotional health. You don’t have to engage with their negativity.
For example, if a colleague starts making passive aggressive comments about your recent promotion, you can acknowledge their behaviour without feeding into it. Simply limit how much you share with them about your successes, and focus on your own goals rather than seeking their validation.
Practice Humility Without Downplaying Your Success
While staying humble is a valuable trait, you should never feel the need to hide or downplay your accomplishments to make others feel more comfortable.
People who are envious may already feel insecure, and diminishing your achievements won’t solve their internal issues. Instead, practice humility by acknowledging the help and support you’ve received along the way, while still standing tall in your accomplishments.
In short, it's okay to feel happy about your achievements and you shouldn't care about other people trying to bring you down.
Maintain Open Communication And Empathy
Sometimes, envy comes from misunderstandings or unspoken frustrations. If you notice someone’s attitude shifting, it may help to have an open, honest conversation.
Let them know that you’ve noticed a change and that you value their relationship or collaboration. This may allow them to express their feelings in a healthier way, rather than letting envy simmer beneath the surface.
For instance, if a colleague seems to be pulling away after your promotion, you might say, "I've noticed we haven't been communicating as much lately. I really value our collaboration and would love to continue working well together."
Celebrate Others’ Successes
One way to combat envy in the workplace is to foster a culture of mutual celebration.
By actively supporting others in their achievements, you create an atmosphere where success is seen as a shared experience rather than a competition. When you show genuine support for others’ accomplishments, you encourage them to reciprocate that positivity when it’s your turn to shine.
For example, if a peer achieves a personal or professional milestone, make an effort to congratulate them and offer your support. Over time, this culture of mutual celebration can help reduce feelings of envy and competition.
Focus On Your Own Growth And Goals
It’s easy to get caught up in others’ reactions to your success, but your primary focus should always be your own growth and goals.
Stay true to your path, and remind yourself why you’re working so hard. Envy can be a distraction, pulling you away from your goals if you let it. Don’t allow others’ negativity to cloud your progress.
Surround Yourself With Supportive People
Building a strong network of supportive, like minded individuals can be one of the best ways to protect yourself from the effects of envy.
When you’re surrounded by people who genuinely want to see you succeed, it’s easier to stay focused and motivated. Seek out relationships with those who inspire you, uplift you, and offer constructive feedback.
Having a mentor or trusted friend can also provide valuable perspective when envy arises. They can remind you of your worth and help you stay focused on the bigger picture.
Conclusion - Envy Is About Them Not You
Envy is a natural emotion, but it doesn’t have to derail your success.
Your success is not a reflection of others’ failures, and their envy is not a reflection of your worth.
Stay true to your path, surround yourself with positivity, and continue to grow both personally and professionally. Your success is the result of your hard work, and you have every right to celebrate it, regardless of how others react.
